


The Talk

by starkraving



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Man of Steel (2013), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alien Biology, F/M, LITERALLY, and they need to talk responsibly about sex for a minute, but its mostly space magic, except clark is just a little alien, its the fucking bathtub scene, so fuck it, this is my excuse to talk about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:03:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9010978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkraving/pseuds/starkraving
Summary: So feel free to ask me about the details of the headcanon that went into this, but this is a one-shot from my Interview-fic universe in the DCEU. There's some headcanon I'm kicking around here. Basically, I'm 100% on board for Clark and Lois being easily physically compatible and having sexy fun times, but also like acknowledging Clark is just a little alien even if Kryptonians were, apparently, just really buff humans who hulk out in yellow sunlight.Kryptonians were also, in the DCEU, a race that reproduced literally by pod baby and Clark being conceived normally was super weird so I have to think there are some caveats with Clark's sexuality. He's definitely a nice Kansas boy who thinks people are pretty and would be nice to make out with, but he's still Kryptonian and there's some extra work that goes into making this work





	

Lois picks the worst moment to get analytical. Literally the worst possible moments. Like now, because Clark has his shirt off and honestly there should be nothing more important in the universe than the fact that Clark has his shirt off and the bath water is warm and he’s kissing a hot trail of breath and tongue across her collarbone. He’s gripping the sides of the tub to brace himself so his arms are doing this really great thing where they flex while he’s leaning down to kiss her and his hair is just a little wet from where she’s run her fingers through it and his eyes are closed and he’s making these really, really hot unconscious little sounds in his throat and she _really_ doesn’t want to get analytical here but –

“Clark?”

“Yeah?” He murmurs this against her neck.

“Do you… want to have sex?”

He doesn’t find this question odd. “Sure,” he says.

Then his teeth graze her skin and that slight electric scrape runs a current of heat straight to her clit and she fights down this _noise_ of pure animal lust that is making it very, very hard to be an adult for two seconds. Oh, why does Clark smell so good? He uses generic off brand shampoo and no cologne. He just smells like that naturally. Lickable. Infuriating. She doesn’t know why this is bothering her so much but it is, actually, bothering her. The entire bathroom’s gone steamy, the floor soaked, their clothes damp knots on the floor. Clark’s warm and touching her. She shouldn’t be fixating on this but…

“Clark.”

Her tone catches his attention and he leans back immediately to look her in the face. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Actually, I just… had a question.”

He tilts his head. This makes him look like a Labrador person and she must endeavor to focus.

“We don’t have to have sex every time I say I want to. You still know that right?”

He smiles. It’s like sunlight through an open window and he leans forward, pressing a kiss to her throat and her eyes flutter a little and he says, warmly, “I don’t mind.”

_Oh boy._

“Clark.” She leans away slightly and give him a very chaste little kiss. “I love you, but that’s not the answer I was looking for.”

Clark, sounding and looking baffled, protests. “I love you, Lois. I’m never going to _not_ want to be with you.”

“And that’s amazingly sweet of you, but a slightly different answer to the question I’m asking. Maybe I’m not asking right.”

“What’s your question?”

“Right,” she says. “My question.”

Clark, who is still shirtless and naked and kneeling between her thighs, peers at her.

“Sorry. Right. Does having sex like this do anything for you, Clark? Physically?”

Clark blinks twice, like he’s waiting for her to come to her senses and declare she is joking so they can go back to their previous activities. It takes every ounce of will power she possesses not to. When she doesn’t, Clark shifts his weight back slightly to give her room in the tub (which is really not big enough to accommodate a man of his size, much less the both of them). Clark braces on elbow against the lip of the tub, then props his chin on his curled fingers. He’s suspiciously unfrazzled about it.

“Why is this coming up now?”

“Because sexual relationships are ever changing and evolving and talking is part of keeping that relationship healthy.”

“Agreed, but why _right_ now?”

“Because we’ve been messing around for, like, five minutes now and you’re still not hard, hon.”

He blinks, glances down, then back at her. She has to stifle a snort.

“You have 100% control over that, don’t you, Smallville?”

He looks defensive. “Yes. Is that… bad?”

“No, of course not.” She flicks water at him. “I just want to clarify a few things about how this is working for you, because I’m getting the impression we’re having two different experiences and I want to be on the same page at least.”

Clark relaxes a little. “Oh. Okay.”

“Good. So! When we first started this interspecies boot knocking thing you were really quick to tell me that Kryptonians don’t have a visible orgasm. At the time, that seemed like the least weird thing about you next to the laser eyes and the super strength so I just enjoyed the notion of never having crusty bed sheets and rolled with it.” Clark looks so mortified she quickly swaps over to reassurance. “It’s not bad. None of that is bad. My only hesitation the notion that you’re having sex with me to make me happy and not because _you_ want to have sex.”

Clark swaps from mortified to skeptical. “I don’t do things I don’t want to do. The US government says so all the time. It’s their primary problem with me.”

“Don’t bring the US government into this. This is not a weird three-way. Sex itself. What’s your opinion on it?”

“Sex is nice.”

“’Sex is nice’ he says. Like it’s a warm toast or something. Okay, so does that mean it’s just like a nice physical activity as in you’d be just as happy with a shoulder massage or…?”

Clark laughs, but only for a moment. “Kind of?” He runs a finger along the lip of the tub, watching it intently. “Kryptonian culture, as I understand it, evolved to a point where they strictly controlled the population through genetic design. Sex-drive as a whole might have been… bred out.” He shrugs. “It could also just be me. I don’t have anything to compare against.”

“So,” she says slowly, fingers steepled, “Kryptonians don’t get horny?”

Clark snorts. “Well, _I_ don’t.”

“You must have been the only sane thirteen-year-old in your year.”

“Actually, my powers were still out of whack back then, so I didn’t really notice what other boys were worried about on account of, maybe, lasers when I sneezed.” He levels a very calm look her way, almost innocent but not quite. “But, you know, I’m sure accidental erections during gym are just as stressful.”

“You’re a dork. Like, you can punch the moon in half, but you’re a dork and I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I didn’t ask you this earlier.” And while he looks aghast about the moon-punching thing, she says, “So you’re basically asexual.”

“Why would I punch the moon?!”

“Focus, Kent. Sex talk.”

“ _Why_ does everyone think I’m going to do the worst possible thing all the time? I honestly have never –”

Lois leans forward so she can fit the palm of her hand against the side of Clark’s jaw and look him in the eyes. “Clark,” she says, “I love you.” And before he can recover or reply she kisses him, gently, making a small study of the way his lips part against hers and the warm-bitter taste of another person’s mouth, his tongue briefly touching hers. She pulls back, face intimately near, and murmurs, “You know you can tell me to go fuck myself any time.”

His whole face scrunches up in horror. “I would _never_ –!”

She kisses him. He maintains his annoyed scrunched face for exactly zero point two seconds, then relaxes again. She speaks between kisses. “I just…” Kiss. “Want to know.” Kiss. “All your secrets.”

“For evil?” he asks, pressing a kiss to her jaw.

“That’s right. What gets you off, Man of Steel?”

He pulls back, offended. “For one: people not calling me that while we’re having sex. Was that a hard-on joke?”

She sticks her tongue out at him and bobs her eyebrows as suggestively as possible.

“But, honestly,” he says. “I’m not sure. It happens so rarely?”

“Ouch. My ego.”

“Your ego is more impervious than I am.”

“Tell me how to make you cry.”

“Make me watch a movie where the dog dies?”

“Tell me how to make you make stupid orgasm faces. Presuming that’s something you want.”

He sighs. “It’s going to sound _weird_.”

“You’re an alien, dear. Nothing is weird. Tell me.”

“When I’m in a fight, I’ve told you, I don’t feel pain the same way.” Lois, not sure she likes where this is going, settles back in the water a little. Clark doesn’t look away while he explains it, the blue of his eyes holding her gaze. “Pain changes. It’s there, but it’s a much higher threshold. Everything is farther away. It takes a missile to get through and everything… re-categorizes. I’m not numb, I feel everything, but it’s not pain. It’s something else. Coming back from that is… difficult sometimes.” He slides his hand across the lip of the tub, taking and holding her fingers gently. “When we’re together… things get closer.”

Lois focuses on keeping her heartrate steady. “Explain.”

“I don’t know how humans feel when they get turned on. I don’t. It’s theoretical to me, but I know when we’re together that something changes over, like it changes over in battle it changes over again. It goes the other way instead. it’s hard to explain. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does it’s like… I can feel every cell polarize toward you, like there’s sunlight under my skin and it’s trying to escape into yours. It’s strange. I can’t describe it right. You’ve never felt sunlight like I’ve felt it.”

“Keep trying,” says Lois.

“I think it’s like my sense of sight or sound – I’ve set these… defaults mentally to keep everything from pouring into my head all the time.” He shrugs. “Kryptonians didn’t evolve to process that much information all at once. It’s overwhelming for me if I don’t do some filtering. My sense of touch is the same way I think. I just know when I’m with you or people I trust that everything feels closer.”

“Give me an example?”

“If a stranger walked up to me on the street and held my hand, it would feel differently than if you did it.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. This happens with friends and family. If I know it’s them, it’s like my nervous system lets sensory data from them through the filters. It’s hard to explain because I don’t really consciously control that. It’s based on how I feel, I think.”

“Aw, are you saying you trust me?”

“I’m saying my brain chemistry seems to have gotten used to you as a non-threat.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, but I’m trying to explain biology here.”

“The biology of how you love me.”

Clark rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Yes. My entire being down to the molecular level physically changes to get more from contact with you. Other people literally cannot do to me what you do to me.”

Lois wonders if he heard the way her heart stumbled there for a second. “It’s a shame I want to… to use this great power for evil.” Clark starts laughing immediately, which feels like a victory so she presses her advantage. “So sex is nice?”

“Yes, but even with you being… someone I trust, it still takes a while for the rest of the filters to go away. If that makes sense? I’m just saying, that shift has to happen. That’s my version of arousal I think.”

“Got it. I’m guessing that doesn’t happen as much as I’m thinking it does.”

“It’s happened a few times and when it does, it’s inevitable that I… I guess it’s an orgasm. I’m not sure. I get the impression it’s different.”

“Why?”

“It goes on for a while?”

Lois cocks her eyebrows up. “Tell me about it.”

“It almost _hurts_ but in a good way?” Clark ponders, fitting the words together. “When it hits it last like, two or three minutes. Longer if I can hold out. Every time my heart beats it’s like the blood it pushes through my body sets off every nerve. Everything gets… quiet. Focused. At the height of it, I can’t hear anything except what’s happening in my own body. It’s like being deaf and blind and I just have to try to ride it out. It’s impossible to think clearly when it’s happening. Every wave of it just kind of knocks me reeling and then I can’t feel anything in my extremities for a while.”

She stares at him for a moment. “You’re saying I’ve done that to you.”

“I couple times.” He does that little shrug again, like what he just said wasn’t earth-shattering. “I can’t say for sure it’s sex that sets it off, because it seems to have nothing to do with what we’re doing physically.” He ponders again. “Well, now I’m worried that could happen while I was, I dunno, reading a book or something. That would be embarrass –”

“Focus, Smallville.”

He looks sheepish. “Sorry, Lois. I don’t know what causes it. It only started happening recently, pretty much after I… got used to you.” He must realize that sounds bad because he rephrases after a moment, sounding nervous. “You’re my longest term relationship. I figure it has something to do with that.”

“Are you saying you really can’t move when it’s happening?” Clark, looking suspicious, nods slowly. “Are you saying really good sex makes you _weak_?” Clark’s eyes widen a little. So, Lois grips the lip of the tub and rises out of the water, moving toward Clark, carefully sliding back into the water so she’s sitting in his lap. “So, that thing where you just kind of laid there and let me hold you down while I fucked you speechless.” His eyes are so big now. “That was all real?”

Kryptonians don’t blush, but Clark’s face has the hallmarks of a man who would be blushing if his body did that. When he nods again, swallowing hard, Lois braces her palms against the sides of the tub so she can lean down and kiss him slowly, pressing in steadily until his lips part on a groan.

“You wanna see if we can do it again””

“I – yes.”

“You sure about –?”

“ _Yes_.”

Lois grins. “That’s what I was looking for.”

**Author's Note:**

> So feel free to ask me about the details of the headcanon that went into this, but this is a one-shot from my Interview-fic universe in the DCEU. There's some headcanon I'm kicking around here. Basically, I'm 100% on board for Clark and Lois being easily physically compatible and having sexy fun times, but also like acknowledging Clark is just a little alien even if Kryptonians were, apparently, just really buff humans who hulk out in yellow sunlight.
> 
> Kryptonians were also, in the DCEU, a race that reproduced literally by pod baby and Clark being conceived normally was super weird so I have to think there are some caveats with Clark's sexuality. He's definitely a nice Kansas boy who thinks people are pretty and would be nice to make out with, but he's still Kryptonian and there's some extra work that goes into making this work


End file.
